Dirtbag

that’s because i was stupid…

that’s because i was too blind to see..

that’s because i was too proud to admit…

that’s because of you, can’t you see?

come here…and i’ll buy you a drink…

come here…and we’ll talk about the future or even the past…

come here…and i will show you how i live my life this far…

come here….and i will let you go….

In between these sleepless eyes I see…

A shadow of you haunting every seconds of my endless nightmares…

Torturing my body and my lost soul til I bleed…

and…

painfully die…

fold me in your memories 
and weave me in your heart

someday i’ll come to you
and forever we’ll become…..
something that perhaps we dreamed about

but when reality is filled with cruelty…
and its really hard to keep our eyes open and feel pity

then under the bitter rain i try to run to u 
dont be alarmed 
all i want is just ask u a question…
did u know the place between sleep and awake???
if so…thats the place where i stand still 
waiting 4 u…

hey…
it’s raining outside…
do you bring your umbrella?

hey…
it’s cold outside..
do you bring your jacket?

hey..
i’m hurting inside…
do you even care?

silently she sat on her bed
paint a thousand of sorrows
and hundreds of pains on her canvas full of regrets

silently she layed on her bed
tried to scream her lungs out
but no sounds came out of her wounded lips

silently she layed on her bed
drank 10 pills of amphetamine
and hope to find her happiness

her mind flew away along with her soul
making love with the angel winged devils
up there in a place called paradise

jangan salahin gue kalo gue jadi over parno. itu semua kan sebabnya dari lo juga..

hari ini tanggal 28 Juni 2006…kayaknya kok ga abis2 ya gue ketimpa kesialan??

diawali dari mimpi buruk tadi pagi yang bikin kepala gue pusing karena kaget. ampe di kantor, ada aja masalah2 yang bikin naek darah..tadi siang pas gue mau ke bank, ban mobil gue bocor kena paku! alhasil panas2an ganti ban ampe basah kuyup ama keringet. damn!

ampe di bank, kok ya dapet teller yang juteknya setengah mampus. secara gue agak "bodoh" ama hal2 yang berbau perbankan, jadi gue nanya lumayan banyak ama si mbak jutek (better nanya daripada sotoy trus salah toh?), eh…ngejawabnya kok ya nge-gas? bikin nyolot deh! untung gue yang perlu dia, jadi gue hadapi aja ke-ngegassan dia dengan senyum manis, makasih ya mbak info-nya

abis itu gue janji ketemu temen di food court Kuta Galeria untuk ngomongin side job. Janjinya jam 12.30 tapi krn ban mobil gue bocor jadi molor ke jam 13.00. sepiring gado2 n 2 teh botol dah gue abisin, si temen masih belom nongol. jam 14.00 dia baru dateng! nih orang dah married n dah punya anak, tapi datengnya bersama seorang cewe ABG yang gelendotan mulu ama dia…cape deh’..! untung gue baek orangnya, kalo engga bininya dah gue telpon! hahahaha..

kelar urusan bisnis, gue pulang. lumayan lancar di jalan..alhamdullilah. ampe di rumah, pas nutup pintu mobil, tangan gue keseleo aja gitu..sakit! tapi i tried to enjoy the pain aja..

dengan tangan sakit, gue ngirim email laporan ke bos gue di korea. udah jadi 10 point dengan penjelasan panjang lebar, siap dikirim, dan…..computer gue nge-hang! an$#%&^!! semua yang udah gue ketik ilang blas! sempet bengong terhuyung - huyung gue di depan screen, tapi untung nyawa gue cepet ngumpul lagi dan akhirnya laporan terkirim.

*sigh* semoga cuman itu aja kesialan gue hari ini, jangan ditambah lagi ya…tapi anyway, gue tetep bersyukur masih bisa idup n menikmati kesialan2 gue di hari ini. Thank you, my dearest God

if loving you is wrong…then i don’t want to be right…

di saat semua berjalan begitu indah dan sempurna, cobaan terberat pun datang merobek dan menyayat hatiku. sedih, sakit, perih! hampir aku menyerah! tapi tidak! aku harus bangkit, aku harus kuat karena semua akan baik2 saja. aku tau Tuhan tidak akan memberi cobaan di luar batas kemampuan manusia. aku yakin pasti ada hikmah di balik semua kejadian ini.

sayang, hang in there, be strong..everything is gonna be alright! don’t ever think that i’ll leave you cause i won’t. i’ll be right here waiting for you. we’ll be together again soon…cinta kita terlalu kuat untuk dapat dipisahkan….

i love you…